then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are the jesus of drinking
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
