I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
God, I missed his penis.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
