please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
