do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's never too late to be topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
