when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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