Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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