I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dear god my vagina.
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