Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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