I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
