got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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