I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize