just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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