I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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