I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
