So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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