the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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