there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
