just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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