if you like me you must not know who I am
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
someone owes me an orgasm
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
