Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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