So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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