it was like his penis was on wheels.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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