Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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