all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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