Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
