Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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