The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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