Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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