I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
