I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
