We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
