ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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