i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just gargled with NyQuil
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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