No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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