So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
