there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
