Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
