He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
