You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need water and some morals
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
