the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
