she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
