It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
