she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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