My first STD was from a foam party
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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