Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
