Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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