Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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