erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize