do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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