Is it normal to miss your booty call?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
