seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
