Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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