I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
