i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
