Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
