Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
