She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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