Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
