seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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