You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
