Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it because I queefed?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
