It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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