She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
