so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
