he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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