Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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