This is not my ceiling
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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