the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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