wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
